Back in the year 2000, a film hit theaters called "Meet the Parents". The lead role, played by Ben Stiller, was that of a male nurse who...well...took a lot of grief. Some of it was well-deserved, some of it was not. But the grief he incurred by being a man in the female-dominated profession of nursing was what I identified with most. One of the gags of the film was his name - Gaylord "Greg" Focker.
So why would I identify with this exactly? Well, in early 1996 I was coming off a very painful breakup with a girl I was engaged to marry. I moved to Philly, PA and decided it was about time I got my act together. I was 23 years old and had basically spent the time since high school graduation figuring out who I was and where I fit in in this crazy world. Upon moving to Philly I enrolled at Temple University and began coursework in "pre-med". (For those who don't know, pre-med isn't really anything...it's just a term means you're taking prerequisite courses that likely are what would be required by medical school and, well, it just sounds sort of cool.) I'll probably blog often about my time in Philadelphia, as this was one of the most profound and formative stretches of time in my life.
So the whole pre-med thing led me to a major in Psychology, but I'll talk about that some other time. I graduated summa cum laude in 1999 and decided to move to Atlanta. Why Atlanta? Well, after much soul searching and research (many thanks to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics for the most excellent information on career data and outlooks...please note: even if I blog for the next 50 years, this may be the one and only time I say something positive about the government! lol), I made the decision to get my BSN degree - Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Emory University - the "Harvard of the South" - was kind enough to throw some scholarship money my way, and when I found out I had unknowingly taken every single prerequisite to enter into the professional phase of the BSN program and finish it in only two years, it seemed like a no-brainer...
...but then it hit me..."wait, you know that this is NURSING, right?"
I don't know if you are the sort of person who believes that things happen in life for a reason, but I am absolutely. I just happened to have a heterosexual, older male cousin who had been an RN for years at the time I was making this decision. By the way, if you're actually still reading this, would you mind just typing "YES!" in capital letters in the comments section? Not only would it be funny having people wonder what is wrong with those who are commenting that they are all typing the same thing, it will let me know that at least one other person is still with me lol. Anyway, so I had arranged a few conversations with my distant cousin, who I really have to credit for helping me through some of those pesky "ego issues" that came along with this whole male nurse thing. I'm sure I'll probably speak more on that in future blog posts, as well.
By the time Meet the Parents had hit theaters, it was the summer in between my two years of nursing school at Emory. The night I saw the movie, I had been talking with a girl online who was (according to her) a model and I thought that might be a great film to see since the previews were funny and lighthearted. Okay, another side note here: one of my next few blog posts will be about why I COMPLETELY disagree with those who say going to the movies is not a good idea for a first date. If you're one of those people, I think I might be able to give you something to think about! So my new online friend the model and I go to the movie, and as we're both enjoying the film and laughing, all of a sudden the 2-minute scene that would absolutely HORRIFY me came on:
Okay, WHAT the...I began to well-up with insecurity and panic. Had I already told this girl I was in school for nursing? What sort of lie could I come up with over the next 90 minutes to get me out of this if I HAD told her? OMG, I chose this as my CAREER! I was just overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, as the life choices I'd made over the last two years and right up to that very minute as I was sitting in the theater came crashing crashing down on me. After all, I'm one of those people who believes things happen for a reason, remember? So the movie ended, and I nervously asked her what she thought. She looked at me with an indifferent expression and said, "yeah, it was ok". Somewhat relieved, I took her for a beer and wings, and by the second round I had pretty much put the absolute shock of that scene out of my mind.
So if you're still with me, I'm sure you're probably thinking, "look Focker...not only do I not get this whole pothead reference in the subject, but you've done everything BUT explain why you have chosen to torture yourself with this name to begin with". So here it is...the moral of the story: I eventually found that all of my ego issues, and especially this scene from the movie, were stepping stones. As I stumbled over each one along the way, I had to either work through it or let it knock me off my path. I chose the former, and by the time I graduated with my BSN, passed my boards, and accepted my first position as an RN at one of Atlanta's largest and busiest hospitals, I was in a good place. In fact, I was in a great place. Because I realized that with the exception of a few buds who enjoy ribbing me from time to time (which is great, by the way), the vast majority of people think the fact that I'm an RN is great. Every so often I even have someone tell me "thank you" for what I do. And it hit me...I'm not embarrassed or insecure anymore at all...not even a little. I am proud...I am happy...I am....FOCKER!
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Wow, there it is...my very first blog post! I saw that this Blogger site had statistics. I wonder if there's one for how many people start reading your post but then click it off by the mid-way point? lol If you're still reading and you took a few minutes (hours?) out of your day to spend with me here, thank you so much. It really means a lot to me!
Oh, and about that whole "pothead" thing...here you go :)
**"Meet the Parents" was produced by Universal Pictures, Dreamworld SKG, and Nancy Tenenbaum Films. The preceding clips are THEIR property, and not my own.
